This announcer doesn't like Tom Cruise

snagged this gem from Hot Clicks over at SI, funny stuff

PAC TEN AWARDS

PLAYER OF THE YEAR: KEVIN LOVE F/C UCLA

FRESHMAN OF THE YEAR: JERRYD BAYLESS G ARIZONA

MOST IMPROVED: RUSSELL WESTBROOK G UCLA

COACH OF THE YEAR: TRENT JOHNSON STANFORD

PAC TEN FIRST TEAM:

BROOK LOPEZ C STANFORD
KEVIN LOVE F/C UCLA
RYAN ANDERSON F CALIFORNIA
JERRYD BAYLESS G ARIZONA
DARREN COLLISON G UCLA

PAC TEN FRESHMAN TEAM:

KEVIN LOVE F/C UCLA
DAVON JEFFERSON F SOUTHER CALIFORNIA
JAMES HARDEN G ARIZONA STATE
OJ MAYO G SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA
JERRYD BAYLESS G ARIZONA

SEC AWARDS

PLAYER OF THE YEAR: JAMONT GORDON G MISSISSIPPI STATE

FRESHMAN OF THE YEAR: NICK CALATHES G FLORIDA

MOST IMPROVED PLAYER: MARREESE SPEIGHTS C FLORIDA

COACH OF THE YEAR: RICK STANSBURY MISSISSIPPI STATE

SEC FIRST TEAM:

RICHARD HENDRIX F ALABAMA
SHAN FOSTER F VANDERBILT
TYLER SMITH F TENNESSEE
JAMONT GORDON G MISSISSIPPI STATE
DEVAN DOWNEY G SOUTH CAROLINA

SEC FRESHMAN TEAM:

AJ OGILVY C VANDERBILT
PATRICK PATTERSON F KENTUCKY
ANTHONY RANDOLPH F LSU
NICK CALATHES G FLORIDA
CHRIS WARREN G OLE MISS

BIG EAST AWARDS

PLAYER OF THE YEAR: LUKE HARANGODY F NOTRE DAME

FRESHMAN OF THE YEAR: DONTE GREENE F AND JONNY FLYNN G SYRACUSE

MOST IMPROVED PLAYER: SAM YOUNG F PITTSBURGH

COACH OF THE YEAR: MIKE BREY NOTRE DAME

BIG EAST FIRST TEAM:

LUKE HARANGODY F NOTRE DAME
KENTRELL GRANSBERRY F SOUTH FLORIDA
SAM YOUNG F PITTSBURGH
DEONTA VAUGHN G CINCINNATI
A.J. PRICE G CONNECTICUT

BIG EAST FRESHMAN TEAM:

DeJUAN BLAIR F PITTSBURGH
DONTE' GREEN F SYRACUSE
DAR TUCKER F DePAUL
DOMINIQUE JONES G SOUTH FLORIDA
JONNY FLYNN G SYRACUSE

BIG 12 AWARDS

PLAYER OF THE YEAR: MICHAEL BEASLEY F KANSAS STATE

FRESHMAN OF THE YEAR: MICHAEL BEASLEY F KANSAS STATE

MOST IMPROVED PLAYER: DAMION JAMES F TEXAS

COACH OF THE YEAR: SCOTT DREW BAYLOR

BIG 12 FIRST TEAM:

ALEKS MARIC C NEBRASKA
MICHAEL BEASLEY F KANSAS STATE
BLAKE GRIFFIN F OKLAHOMA
RICHARD ROBY G COLORADO
D.J. AUGUSTIN G TEXAS

BIG 12 FRESHMEN TEAM:

MICHAEL BEASLEY F KANSAS STATE
BLAKE GRIFFIN F OKLAHOMA
JAMES ANDERSON G/F OKLAHOMA STATE
LACEDARIUS DUNN G BAYLOR
COOKIE MILLER G NEBRASKA

BIG TEN AWARDS

PLAYER OF THE YEAR: D.J. WHITE F INDIANA

FRESHMAN OF THE YEAR: ERIC GORDON G INDIANA

MOST IMPROVED PLAYER: TREVON HUGHES G WISCONSIN

COACH OF THE YEAR: MATT PAINTER PURDUE

BIG TEN FIRST TEAM:

D.J. WHITE F INDIANA
RAYMAR MORGAN F MICHIGAN STATE
ERIC GORDON G INDIANA
MANNY HARRIS G MICHIGAN
JAMAR BUTLER G OHIO STATE

BIG TEN FRESHMAN TEAM:

KOSTA KOUFOS C OHIO STATE
ROBBIE HUMMEL F PURDUE
ERIC GORDON G INDIANA
MANNY HARRIS G MICHIGAN
E'TWAUN MOORE G PURDUE

ACC Awards

PLAYER OF THE YEAR: TYLER HANSBROUGH F NORTH CAROLINA

FRESHMAN OF THE YEAR: KYLE SINGLER F DUKE

MOST IMPROVED PLAYER: GREIVIS VAZQUEZ G MARYLAND

COACH OF THE YEAR: FRANK HAITH MIAMI

ACC FIRST TEAM:

TYLER HANSBROUGH F UNC
JAMES GIST F MARYLAND
GREIVIS VAZQUEZ G MARYLAND
TYRESE RICE G BOSTON COLLEGE
SEAN SINGLETARY G VIRGINIA

ACC FRESHMAN TEAM:

J.J. HICKSON F NORTH CAROLINA STATE
JEFF ALLEN F VIRGINIA TECH
KYLE SINGLER F DUKE
RAKIM SANDERS G/F BOSTON COLLEGE
JEFF TEAGUE G WAKE FOREST